i just shit 3 out of the 4 types of matter
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
Used my jumper cables as a bottle opener last night. Really pleased with my problem solving skills.
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
Yeah I should probably start planning our first conversation instead of our first child.
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
Do not tell guys at bars about kittens you rescue. They will walk away.
You've lost booty call privileges between the hours of 10pm and 8am.
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
You said "I'm not gonna waste my last condom on you" last night.
He goes from zero to fucking up in 2.4 drinks. Like the sportscar of bad decision making.
He was fingering me and I came so hard that I actually broke his wrist. We're at the ER now.
Randomize
