i just remebered what i did last night, i asked a homeless man on a bike "hey whatcha doin with that bike, wanna make 5 bucks?" he agreed and then rode me on his handle bars a block away to the next bar.
Mike and I just ate the lobster we found in the toilet
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner.
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
I feel like passing out with my foot on your face has bonded us at a very fundamental level.
You don't know how badly I want to just hold you as a soup spoon holds a bisque
At one point 12 people dressed in care bear onesies were up on stage grinding super nasty, and two of the girl Care Bears were making out.
If this wasn't a hallucination, we need to go to this magical kingdom every night of the week.
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
I sent her a picture of Richard Nixon and said "these are the only dick pics I send".
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
Randomize
