Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
If I am going to throw out this whole "born again virgin" thing...i'm not going to do it on someone who is less than 5 inches.
I hope your perfect outfit is a slutty power rangers outfit. That's been my dream wedding since I was a kid.
Number of twigs I found in my hair: 5
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
That money I left you should go to the stripper that fell asleep in your bed. Sorry
I just ate 6 cheeseburgers with some homeless guy. Pretty epic.
Tequila, beer, rum, gin, and vodka all mixed in my body last night. The whole "never turn down free booze" is catching up to me. Hungover = understatement of the year.
I feel like cursing someone's first born child right now. Like I wanna maleficent some bitch.
She's cool and all but if she eats my food again I'm gonna fucking drop kick her ass. No one touches my lunchables. NO ONE.
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
Where are you guys?
Drunk
Randomize
