I'm gonna put my relationship status as "widowed" to see if it helps me get some poon.
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
Slept in my car last night. It snowed. I peed on the street. Hello 29...
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
I feel like our relationship should have moved on from you constantly asking if I'm gay
Apparently I tried my hand at mustard juggling. I wasn't very good.
He is really drunk but I just found $20 so it's like I am getting paid to babysit
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
And that kids is the last time I ever try to outdrink Germans
I just got hit with cramps and found a mystery pill. I'm gonna stay put for an hour and at least see what happens.
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
We probably are going to die. So. Thanks for agreeing to be my Maid of Honor even though I torture you.
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
Randomize