just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
We had sex in the woods. It was great until some bird started mimicking my orgasm sounds
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
maybe i'll make good life choices and keep my legs closed. periodically txt me friday and saturday night saying "baby carrot round 2" that should stop me.
i'm not accepting baked goods from anyone for awhile. especially after the stalker pie.
oh my god. separately texting an Allie and an Ally while drunk is hard, and I'm climbed 1/2 way up a bridge pier.
Stole a wheelchair from the hospital and rolled down the street smoking and drinking this is my weekend
So some sort of safe sex group just flash mobbed the bar by putting condoms over people's beers.
They left screaming as a hale of lubbed up condoms rained into their hair.
Slow dancing with the chandelier.
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
I took a yellow and pink pill, all of a sudden my sex drive is back, and for some reason all I wanna do is fuck Amish dudes
Good God, I miss doing unknown drugs with you.
I swear to god, I'm like....the Jedi master of dick.
Randomize
