what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
Just ate applesauce I laced with percocets for dinner. I'm pretty sure my grandmother does the same thing.
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
I didn't scare your mother by showing up on the roof, did I?
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
This snow needs to melt so I can get wasted on someones front lawn
Hey, I think I showed you a picture of my nephew while we were fucking last night. Sorry, I know it's weird, I just really love that kid. Again, sorry.
You held an empty wine bottle to your head and declared yourself the "wine unicorn." For the rest of the night you galloped everywhere and whenever anyone refused to be a wine unicorn with you, you tried to spear them with the bottle.
Sometimes I just take my boobs out of my shirt so they can get some fresh air
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
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