I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
You wouldn't let me clean the puke off your face because I'd mess up your cat whiskers. Now that's dedication.
This titty bar has wifi. I just did FaceTime stage side
We played "race the Jimmy John's driver". Order, then see if we can finish sex before the food arrives.
The only way i can get arrested is public drunkenness or defacing a national monument. Trust me, i have already looked it up.
when the officer asked him if he had been drinking, he just goes, "yeah, you?" then falls onto the table.
You told me that you were mad me because I wouldn't let you 'explore my castle'. Then you said I smelled like a hospital and passed out.
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
For future reference, don't put tape on your nipples. Ouch.
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
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