Your mom is more observant then Randy Newman.
Can you tell me why I have pubes stuck in my teeth?
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
I should start printing out disclaimer handouts and passing them out to people saying, "I can not be held responsible for anything I say or do this evening."
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
I may or may not have puked in the ladies room. Now I get to convince my client to go to substance abuse treatment. Oh, the irony.
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
I can appreciate that you picked up the hot drummer, but don’t have sex in front of my house lmao
Greetings from Florida; the armpit of the US, where my 240something lb brother nearly got carried away by some aggressive woodland mosquitoes. I was only spared because they could probably sense I was currently semi-disassociating and would not feel the suffering their presence wrought.
Anyway, how was your day?
Randomize