Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
Apparently it costs $70 to clean vomit off the side of our apartment building.
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
From scraping the remnants from a coke bag at a lingerie party to meeting with an 80 year old man to discuss civil rights all in under 12 hours bizarrely feels like the epitome of my life
bro i dont care how hot she was, you try keeping it up with the amount of puppet he had in her room, it was like fucking in jeff dunham's house
i went to the 24h massage place last night and brought down the price for a hand job from $50 to $12.75 and half the big mac left in my bag.
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
Today I learned that when you lick a mans butthole, you get wined and dined at a nice french restaurant.
I can't get the smell of burned penis out of the house
I should stop using "Braveheart would do it" as a basis for decision making...
I just used a gift card from my in-laws to buy their daughter a vibrator. What even are morals?
Still alive. Just brushed my teeth with fireball.
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
You went on the date? His pickup line was I swear I'm not a serial killer and you went on the date???
Randomize
