I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
Is it just me or did a policeman park your car last night?
The beers last night were like the tears from god
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
Let's enter the circle of trust. Are we there yet? Ok. If I somehow hypothetically slept with Amandas ex husband...on a scale of one to ten...how bad is that?
If she doesn't judge me for bringing my vibrator in the tanning bed, I know she is a true friend.
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
After so many times of carrying your puked covered clothes home in a bag on a Tuesday morning, you begin to realize that Fucked Up Mondays aren't a real thing.
Well I just found a coupon for cheese in the bathroom so I've got that going for me
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
Nothing says hangover like being in the doctors office getting a tampon removed from deep inside
Randomize
