so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
So you know how craigslist used to have an "erotica" section? And how after you click on a link it changes a darker color? And how Dad stays up really late most nights?
Oh god... well at least he's gettin some. Mom's a prude.
Do they take checks?
Did you really just ask me if you could write a check for a DRUG DEAL?
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
Hangover or death. Death. I'll have a slice of death please.
Hearing them have a conversation is like listening to water buffalo have sex. Awkward and scarring.
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
Don't know how your birthday has been, but mine has involved Hershey's syrup and a blowie. It's safe to say you're playing catch up.
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
The difference between 22 and 28 is bigger than I realised. I had the urge to put on Spongebob and give him a cookie.
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
HAMMERED.. I made a peanut butter and jelly sandwich with toilet paper instead of bread...
Did I fall last night?
I wouldn't call it falling as much as you tried to lay on the sidewalk and proceeded to hit it face first.
Randomize
