I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
The only thing I want to hear out of a girl's mouth tonight is, "slurp".
Dude im not sure whos apartment i woke up in but i just showered here and their shampoo in phenomenal
She punched my vomit. In midair. Back into my mouth.
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
I'm on his itunes. He has a sex playlist. It's actually not so much a playlist as 12 Kylie Minogue songs with a big gay Whitney finish.
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
I don't know if it has occurred to you yet, but you are dating a nymphomaniac, and your work schedule is an interference of my needs being fulfilled. Get home now.
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
I consider my hand a solid 5. So if I'm dipping below a 7.5, I might as well go with old faithful.
My Easter dress smells like alcohol, men, and bad decisions
He tried to grab your ass, but he grabbed my hand cause I grabbed your ass first. I saved your ass..literally. Your welcome.
Fursuit judi Dench just stared directly at me for 3 solid minutes telling me that cats arent dogs and i believe her because if i dont cat jason derulo might try to have sex with me
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
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