I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
FYI, if you pee in my bed (or even let R___ and E___ sleep in it), I will fart loudly during your wedding vows. Trust.
i dont care if i have to wear a pillow case, there will be an open bar at my wedding
Lindsay lohan: road to jail is on E tonight. Bring vodka we are not missing an opportunity to make a drinking game out of this
is it too much to get a jumbo margarita in a sippy cup right now?
We eventually had to ration the melon vodka. 10 pushups per shot. THATS why my arms hurt
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
Whiskey dick is like insurance for making bad decisions
can't believe I traded a good night's sleep and a midterm for your blurry tits
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
Monday funday. I brushed my teeth with antibacterial soap. hangover I did not have.
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
and then the sword just ended up between my legs
Randomize
