sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
You love me.
That's because, tragically, I adore whores.
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
I'm a gay man planning my brothers bachelor party, and he choose someone else to be his best man. I hope they like appltinis and gay clubs. Bastard.
Everything smells like vodka and bologna. WHAT DID YOU DO?
GLITTER SLIP N SLIDE MUTHAFUCKAH~
My office already closed tomorrow. I'm bout to get drunk and build a muh fuckin fort. I shall call it "Fort Fuck You, Sandy, You Fuckin Bitch"
And now I'm drinking leftover wine in the grad lounge because fuck my life
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
Tonight I'm getting fucked up for America because Lord knows we need it.
Apparently, im the only one in the world who thinks Larry King is hot.
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
Randomize
