her vagina looked like bernie madoff
I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
I just did the classiest thing ever.
last time you said that you got chlamydia.
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
I'm drinking a margarita out of my 'best bj' trophy and it tastes like victory.
I now have an ENTIRE drawer of unused disposable silverware from Boston Market... and you guys said I needed to "buy" kitchen stuff
Just saw a woman with a Pomeranian in her bra. Way to step up your game Seattle.
Based on the fact my iPad is covered in pizza, I'm going to assume I ate pizza last night
We decided to make playlists for each other. Do you know any songs that say "sorry I'm not as hot as your prostitute ex?"
Of course I'll be there. I never miss an opportunity to smell like cigarettes, cheap beer, and shame.
When the theology professor asked me what touched me most about this trip to Rome, I guess "the guy from last night" wasn't the proper response.
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
You wouldn't put pants on to see my parents.
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
APPARENTLY I MISSED SOMEONE SWALLOWING A WHOLE BAG OF METH WHILE I WAS ON BREAK.
Randomize
