He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
My dad just knocked on my door and told me that my vibrator was too loud
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
Some chick just tried to plug her vodka into the wall.
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
You need to call dibs on the blond with the tits. It's your birthday.
Haha hell yea
Because if someone gets to see those.. It should be you. It's like God telling you Happy Birthday.
Yep if he's taking selfies he's probably on drugs again.
So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
Successfully defrauded the county government. What have you done today?
Gay?
German.
Pity.
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
If you fold the laundry; booze and orgasms on me.
I just opened my travel toothbrush holder and it smelled like vodka...maybe a vodka cranberry. This says a lot about my vacations.
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
Randomize
