So...it's hour 4 of day 5 of week 7 of my internship, and so far all ive done is shred paper. all. day. long. it's like working for Enron.
I just decorated my birth control case with Lisa Frank stickers. If that doesn't scream 'I'm not ready for babies' I don't know what does.
Wait time out. Did I start last night with pants?
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
Tried to eat a chip. Mouth wouldn't cooperate. Nearly died. Wow I've missed this.
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
Just had a thought: were the sirens on when we were in the ambulance?
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
Just took a shot of tequila with a random guy at the supermarket. Happy cinco de fourth.
Any time you can't remember a night, and you wake up in a sorority house, it's fucking worth it.
Cocaine can totally be concealed as MAC finishing powder. Drug dealer creds just went up 120 percent
He challenged me to a drink off, I couldn't just say no. It was a matter of pride really.
And as he was cursing your name from the bathroom you were ordering yourself another drink on his tab. The poor bastard had no clue you were a pro drunk
I'm at a new rock bottom. Malibu on ice at work because it's the only thing they've got and no mixers.
You took one look at him and said "let's hope I don't remember this tomorrow" then you took another shot and chased it with a beer.. I guess it was a success.
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