he rolled over and started playing skeeball on his iphone after we had the best sex yet considering he only lasted 10 seconds last time.. im getting standards.. tomorrow. for now im just going to enjoy the fact i counted over 20 this time.
I woke up and she had washed, dried, folded my clothes, cooked me breakfast, and had started cleaning my room
haha, you sure you didnt fuck your mom?
the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
Ive given up on my natural charms. Im trying different accents till some girl wants to hook up with me.
Had a dream I was a monkey and smoked pot out of a bong made out of a tree
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
Get you some cowboy.
In that sentence you are the cowboy. That is not saying you should get a cowboy for yourself.
Dude, on the way home the cab driver asked why you didn't bring a guy home and referred to you as "one night stand girl"
As he was going down on me, I looked over his shoulder and said "ohh a Christian mingle commercial is on"
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
YO CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR MÉNAGE À TROIS. YOU GO, GLENN COCO
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
Im so sorry for peeing on your chest.
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