Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
She looked like a pterodactyl.....but dude i love dinosaurs
I wiped my blood on their walls screaming "IT'S NOT MY SECURITY DEPOSIT!"
just had an awkward elevator run in with that guy you puked on
Why did I wake up holding food tongs?
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
Sry I came all over your dress. Think of it as a Vegas souvenir.
I love you. Happy valentines. Satin Patricks dayyyyyyyyyy. Alreadythrew up. Geeeeerait.
I have no idea, but there's a bus parked in front of my house and like 6 texts saying im gonna prove my love. this is either really really awesome or really really bad.
It's funny because every time I go up and down the stairs it's an adventure. A A DRUNK ADVENTURE. PS I ALREADY THREW UP WTF
We inadvertently arrived at the strip club on Bear Night. The dancers all look like young Santa Claus and there's a buffet....
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
I cam home to find him twitching on the floor, surrounded by unopened condoms and covered in cranberry sauce (yes I tasted it) while Thundercats was playing.
Randomize
