Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
It's too hard to jack off and hold an ipad at the same time
I justified spending $400 stocking my bar to my sister by saying it was an investment
Personally I think it's a tremendous investment
normally i would apologize for my drunk texting but even sober me agrees.
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
When you get up and look at yourself in the mirror, don't be alarmed. The doctor assured us last night that it looked way worse than it actually was and there won't be a scar when the stitches come out
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
How am I supposed to be friends with him when there's an exact replica of his dick in my underwear drawer?
You're invited to our X-games themed party. We have an ice luge and every time someone eats shit we drink. It's gonna be great.
In the pie chart of my life, she is a huge part of why I drink.
Um. Did you take a picture of me with a giant dildo after we went bowling?
Is it weird that the best sex I've ever had was to Barbara Streisand's Christmas album?
My FIANCE just told me he thought you were the prettiest out of all my friends YOU WHORE
Randomize
