I gave them both handjobs at the same time. Felt like I was skiing
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
I hope no one at work will be able to read the "who wants body shots" on my chest. I forgot about it.
i'm on the subway and being revisted by the ghosts of tequilas past.
Nothing motivates a person to clean their apartment like puking up cheese ravioli beer-tequila chicken wings for eight hours.
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
I just used a thesaurus to write a sext...
Was so high at one point last night that while showering I was worried that using too much hot water would slow down our Internet.
I just bought spray paint, a T-shirt, and a box of magnum condoms. The cashier refused to make eye contact! Haha
I was drunk, but not drunk enough to forget I had some dude on his knees begging for forgiveness.
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
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