my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
Im forcing mysellf to pee so i can fit more margaritas in me...
So...it's hour 4 of day 5 of week 7 of my internship, and so far all ive done is shred paper. all. day. long. it's like working for Enron.
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
How was the party last night?
There's a mountain bike in the middle of our apartment. No one will claim it.
I just wish I had a snapshot of his attempted front flip off the bar. There are some things that are worth getting a life ban for, and the moment of impact with his foot and that lady's face was one of those things.
Listen it's no longer the walk of shame to class when ur leaving the frat house and the brothers ask "when are coming back home"
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
I told him you're making deviled eggs for the party. Sisters make deviled eggs to get their sisters laid. It's science.
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
I can't believe the police had to bring me to my booty call last night
you missed a good time last night.
you texted me at 10 telling me to come fuck you, that says enough.
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
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