K I think ***** turned off her phone. Guess I can't make her feel any more miserable tonight so I'm goin to sleep
Non-Jews are for practice
I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
I am three bowls, two beers, and a muscle relaxer into babysitting. What are you doing.
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
All I remember is that the bartender wouldn't give me scissors cuz I was too drunk
I just took my birth control on the way to class with a 1/2 melted jello shot I happened to find in my purse from Friday night. I told you I was going hard this year.
They just built a gym in the same parking lot as my favorite bar. Drunk me is gonna be so excited.
She's started this new thing where whenever she drives by random couples talking alone outside she yells "break up! this is your sign!"
god, I have more takeout restaurants in my contacts than friends
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
Sitting in my junior high parking lot high on ambien talking to a stranger I met on tinder. What is life?
Randomize
