Turn sideways at McDonald's = actual directions to a winery
Just figured out how to smoke weed with a toaster.
I never said you were fat, just too fat for ME
So my grandma sent me a valentines day present of waterproof mascara, tissues, and chocolate. Way to reinforce that I'll be single and depressed on valentines day. Thanks grandma.
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
An there's a little girl across the bar eating Mac n cheese... #1 she won't stop looking at me. Boo bitch I'm drinking alone. #2 I'm about to tackle her ass for that Mac n cheese.
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
im sleeping with a therapist...so you can talk to me.
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
I woke up with masking tape on my nipples this morning........... WHY DO BAD THINGS HAPPEN TO GOOD PEOPLE
I woke up naked with a Jason mask on and a fat lip. What happened last night?
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
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