this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera
I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
So, I just pissed in her shampoo bottle. Hope she enjoys a late golden shower from me.
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
We just described beer as "big boy apple juice" to his 2 year old.
If you're trying to piece together your night, I can tell you where those tassels came from.
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
He answered his phone while he was eating me out and proceeded to yell at his wife for interrupting lunch...impressed or rock bottom?
All i want to do is drink fuck and cry... you dont have to cater all three its more like the saddest choose your own adventure ever
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
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