Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
Drunk versus high capture the flag: what team is everybody gonna be on?
He managed to get his pants on, so the cop just sat there facing us with his lights shining in the car. I made shadow puppets.
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
I woke up with flowers, a tiara & pasta salad in my bed. Tequila makes me act like a fat Disney princess
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
The walk of shame is a lot easier when I'm at a music festival and it's 12 feet from his tent to my tent
You are living the dream.
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
I could drive to your house and kick you in the nuts right now....and not even stop for a burrito
I need a conscience and I need it yesterday.
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
Dude, running 15 min late.
Let's play a game, you pay for all the drinks I can finish before you get here. Go.
Randomize