I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
a dead guy is trying to sell me oxy clean on my tv
if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
He cummed in my mouth, then said he had to go because his best friend broke his foot falling off of a balcony, put twenty dollars in my hand and was gone before I could even swallow...
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
Bitch, I been tryna reach you all day to talk to you about these Dorito tacos.
Dude I just ripped my new jeans climbing out the window so his booty call wouldn't realize I was home. Being his roommate should come with hazard pay
Next time we smoke don't let me talk. I just said something and it sounded like I was speaking in hashtag.
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
I swear she lies about being allergic to gluten so she'll get all the jack and not have to drink shitty beer like the rest of us
The best was when you were crying, and trying to get the bouncer to "understand you AS A HUMAN BEING"
I just want to make out with him forever
I'M GOING TO FUCK AN ENTIRE ORCHESTRA AND NOTHING CAN STOP ME
The band club does not count as an orchestra
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
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