Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
I just puked in the walgreens aisle buying gatorade and advil for my hangover... i guess i failed
Woke up in a different state, wearing only a bk crown. My boxers are in a tree and I think I went to the hospital last night.....
I told you not to do acid with the girl who works the late shift at 7-11
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
Did someone do a keg stand in my bathtub?
You dislocated his arm and then bought him two shots to numb the pain while you pushed it back in
I think my sister is getting tired of me breaking into her house so I can sleep with random girls when shes not there
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
I'd cum for enchiladas.
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
Hooked up with a girl in the dorm laundry room tonight. And got invited to go to Vegas for free. That's how today's going.
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
I feel like I owe her child an apology or something after blowing my load on the tattoo she has of her.
I got dominos and had to stop whilst eating and take a moment of silence for how good it was
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