I haven't worn deodorant in like three days and have been laying around in my underwear listening to music and drinking. I think i've made my own Bonnaroo in my apartment.
My life has hit rock bottom, I'm watching a movie on lifetime about retarded people falling in love. And I'm jealous of their relationship.
i spent 15 mins trying to take money out of ATM with my drivers license saying, "what the fuckkkk" everytime it didnt work
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
you lied. pity sex is amazing.
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...
Just saw the guy I slept with last night in a bar. He gave me a high five and kept moving
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
The best walk of shames are on the highway
Randomize
