We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
Speaking of morons, I just found half a Subway sandwich in the bathroom drawer You or your brother?
She was the most uninteresting drunk I've met
He said my breasts were God's way of making up to him for all the shit he's had to endure in his life.
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
WHY AM I BEING COCKBLOCKED BY A KID PLAYING HAVA NAGILA ON THE SAXAPHONE
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
My sister was not impressed when she got here. I was standing in the doorway in my underwear drinking a beer. At 2pm. On a Monday.
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
I spent a good part of the night in a bear hat claiming I'd changed spieces
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
Dude I just woke up naked on the floor with my dick in a boot. Legit in a fucking boot. I also have no idea where I am.
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