and if it starts getting weird im just going to tell him i used to be a man
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
You came in at two thirty, wearing your underwear and a tie then asked where you could find a sombrero and a pair of stilletos that would fit your men's size thirteen feet.
The best part was that when I woke up, I poked her with my dick to wake her up, and said, "Hi, I'm Alex. Nice to meet you". Shoulda seen the look on her face. Priceless.
Chick stood right next to me in the elevator. Like she had the whole elevator and she stood right next to me. So I farted.
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
Why is there blood and lettuce everywhere?
matt and i tucked you in... you REFUSED to move your head from under the bed.
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
First day of school is awesome. I get to meet my students and figure out which of their mothers I’ I’m going to bang
Randomize
