New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
So then the officer asked you how you were getting home and you told him "very carefully"
lady crackhead wearing pjs and a santa hat brushed the snow off my car at 7am saying "free of charge" the whole time
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
Pizza delivery...for when you need to eat your feelings for the sex you aren't having
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
i came home to her naked eating chilli on the living room floor. Stop giving her jager.
I'm on my third roll of toilet paper. Today can fuck right off.
You left your Xanax bottle in my car. Why is the label all smudged?
I spilled wine on it.
Drunk me also decided it would be funny to change all the passwords on my computer last night. Now I can't log into anything.
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
Chicks dig it when you smell like bong water and frebreeze.
Randomize
