My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
Why I am the classiest girl you know: just mixed drinks for everyone on the baby changing station at the movie theater.
It was all fun and games until Tim shit on the end table
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
so, give him that "thank you for fighting for my freedom bj" & he wont even remember what you said in that six min voice mail.
Remember when I said "no boyfriend, no problems"? I lied. Tequila. Tequila is a problem.
Bathtub guy came to. He helped me roll the fat chick away from the fridge. Shower and breakfast are on. You're plan failed!
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
Just used my front-facing camera to check my pupils. Technology!
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
They think its so cute and admirable that I learned French. BITCH HAVE YOU NEVER HEARD OF GOOGLE TRANSLATE? sexting foreign bitches, there's an app for that
He ripped my sink off my bathroom wall and then threw up in it.
Double-fisting ice cream and wine. Do not send help.
Randomize
