who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
my dad just beat the shit out of me cuz i blew my nose on one of my dirty t shirts and he saw it and thought it was cum.
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
mowing the lawn. still drunk. If my dad doesn't appreciate this I swear I'm dissowning everyone including him
Girl just walked into the bar with a T-shirt that says "I'm not Irish, kiss me anyways." Target aquired.
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
When he wears his hair down and sandals, he looks like Jesus. A Jesus I would fuck.
That's not what Jesus is for
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
Literally just one second of unclenched butt hole away from shitting my pants.
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
In hindsight, drunkenly yelling "I'M TICKLISH" might not have been an entirely wise decision
Me and mom just bonded over our mutual desire to bang Mark Ruffalo. I'm not sure how to feel about this.
We've been fucking like crazy ever since she quit her job..ive been running errands all day to stay out of the house and give my dick a day of rest
I hate my life now
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