I woke up while squatting on top of my bed peeing on my comforter and my laptop
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
I really don't think you should have 'baptized' your tattoo in vodka the same night you got it.
Your beautifulness. Funnyness. Sexy hairness. Coolness. Plus you ask google how far wendys is from your house. Will you marry me
I miss the time when Mondays weren't the new Thursdays. I can't drink like my 17 year old self anymore.
all i could think about while he was eating me out was how pretty his eyelashes were
You know, having a conversation evolve from attractive men to roommate orgies would be weird with anyone else, but you get me.
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
Oh, and one of the worst parts... his name was Mario. I fucked a Nintendo character.
Don't call police on the strange man passed out in his car in the driveway. I'll be home around noon to collect him.
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
Just tried to do a line with a snorkel I cut off... that is how my Aruba trip is going!
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
You showed up at my house at 4am with a bloody nose, one shoe and a bucket of chicken... I live no where near a place that sells chicken in a bucket..
Well that would explain the bones in my purse.
Randomize
