And I just threw up at the table during Mother's Day Brunch.
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
we got so high we spray painted his girlfriend's UGG boots. she's CRYING. it's hysterical.
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
Someone better explain the burnt stove marks on my bed.
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
You lured him into the bathroom with a trail of jello shots, then proceeded to barricade the door with duct tape. You really should have thought that one through..
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
Listen to me plotting my whoredom.
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
I'm going to need you to stop harassing my professor on Twitter when you're drunk.
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
Randomize
