My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
You kept saying thank you to the automatic toilet as it flushed your puke.
Ok seriously I'm living off of bologna but I have 4 handles in the freezer.
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
By the way when you were super fucked up last night, you ate cat food and tried to tell me it was healthy for you
I really want to text him and congratulate him on having a bigger penis than the guy I dumped him for, but I thought that might be awkward...
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
Can I just say I love that you have a kegorator on your wedding registry?
Yepp, I had to be the one to explain that the girl who was slapping people in the face with a dildo was my drunk girlfriend.
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,
Randomize
