kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
you came in and threw goldfish on our blue carpet and screamed SWIM BITCHES and then made me drink a best friends potion with you
I feel like I could be a daytime drinking legend, like they could put that shit on my tombstone and right now your preventing me from reaching my full potential
DONT TAKE THE KEG OUT OF THE HOT TUB I NEED A PICTURE OF ME DOING A KEG STAND ON IT
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
Just because I tried to backhand you with a fist full of cash does not make me violent
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
She kept saying how cute and adorable I was. I felt like a care bear getting a blowjob
I DO NOT KNOW WHO SHE IS, WE HAVE NO MORE FRUIT, SHE CAN'T STAY HERE.
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
After we hooked up, his roommate shouted "I LIKE TO HAVE SEX TOO" from across the apartment
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
If it makes you feel any better I almost got kicked out of the bar for yelling "enjoy your celebratory incest"
I love you.
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