It was weird to see you drinking wine out a glass instead of a red cup today
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
you kept telling her you'd make a great step-dad while cuddling her and rubbing her back...
If this outfit doesn't get me pregnant tonight I don't know what will...
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
I'm not asking you to commit. I'm politely asking your penis to be my friend.
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
You said you were going to start drinking less. Drinking 25 small airplane bottle shots do not count.
He was playing minecraft so I took a shower with my vibrator
My roommate taped his phone to the ceiling fan to simulate walking so he could hatch Pokémon. Lazy people will always find a way.
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
Randomize
