Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
He just came into the room wearing nothing but a Speed Racer helmet. I think he just invented a fetish.
I managed to fit my wallet, my keys, my phone, Tammy's necklace, and $38.50 all in my bra. and $1.50 is in quarters. go me.
Hey couldn't find water bottle to put margs in whole bottle in purse gonna stop and get cups and ice from starbucks and burrito from una mas want a quesadilla
We legitimately thought something was wrong with you until someone pointed out you were just doing the thriller dance
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
Why did I wake up to grapes taped my ears ?
Sorry dude, we didn't want you to hear us. Seemed like a good idea at the time.
I found an industrial strength sharpie in the drawer so I started writing BONER JAM 2014 on everyone's foreheads so they kicked me out
I serenaded the cat in the hat for a few 90s songs but idk who he is
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
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