Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
Sometimes I think my vagina thinks its a penis.
i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
My professor just gave everyone in the class extra credit... except for the kid wearing the Cubs hat
Hey man, did I leave the bottom drawer to my refrigerator that I had beer in at your house by any chance?
a garbage man just dropped off my phone and wallet. he found them in the trash this morning.
This dude is being a total douche
Just because it's Christmas Eve does not mean the liquor store has to give you a free bottle of peppermint schnapps
The following message is brought to you by IMSOFUCKINGSORRY. Dude I'm really sorry I got you arrested last night. You are allowed to choose a repayment plan from the following options: Money, weed, or a single kick to the balls any time within the next calender months. Repayment outside of the aforementioned options can be negotiated and considered within reason.
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
Just so we're clear this time around: This is dinner with my FAMILY. Not an opportunity for you to drink too much, and use the word "dick-thumpin" in casual conversation.
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
I feel like I got run over by a bus full of inebriated Scotsmen on the way to a soccer riot.
He broke up with me because "we're at different points in our lives" I think it's because he saw a drag queen with their hand halfway down my pants
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
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