woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
Pulling over on the side of the road to set off fireworks was the worst idea you have ever had. I don't care if it was called a friendship pagoda.
I'm sorry I make you whore yourself out to him everytime I'm drunk and want mcdonalds.
And my cat won't make me food. She's a bitch
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
She is sending me pics of her sex faces...which totally counts as sexting in my book
The girls danced. I drank. Then I danced cause I was drunk. Then I ripped tim's shirt off cause I'm awesome.
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
After a long night of drunk sexting I have to the ninja roll at the front door to see who showed up.
Pro: she asked me to be a bridesmaid. Con: i only have about nine months to get over a phobia of midget strippers.
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
Also, do you think i could get away with finishing my vodka cranberry from last night at work if i put orange juice in it? Serious question.
Randomize
