im 80% sure the guy across from me is taking pictures of my legs
why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
That explains waking up with one hand in the toilet and the other in the trash can
I wish the health center treadmills counted beers burned not calories
woke up with food on the counter from chipotle, taco bell, green cactus, and on the border take out. explain?
you were trying to get this Spanish chick to sleep with you. you were showing her how much you "loved her native food."
Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
He did not appreciate the "you did reuse the diamond" comment when looking at his new fiance's ring.
Just gave my thesis presentation, pretty sure I made out with the admissions woman last night.
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
I'm prostituting myself for tickets to Disney World. There's a contradiction there.
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
You need to go! It’s a midwestern wedding - the single girls out there think life ends at 25 if they don’t have a picket fence and family. That’s when your penis introduces himself
Randomize