i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
i just ate two sandwiches and am debating booty calling my landlord
Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
they ran out of ice so they are using frozen shrimp in their drinks
So I told her I dislocated my shoulder and she said "well okay. I can either be on top or blow you."
Decisions, decisions.
This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
You lifted he top layer off his birthday cake and made it say 'eat me' in the cookie monster voice so yeah he knew.
Apparently it's illegal to hit pedestrians with coke cans... But the cop complimented my arm. That's a win in my book.
I could drive to your house and kick you in the nuts right now....and not even stop for a burrito
You keep talking about hotdogs and yelling "COME ON DOWN, LET ME SEE WHAT YOU'RE WEARING"
I hate when pretentious people talk bad ab corn dogs
I'm like a camel in the desert in a black hole I'm so thirsty.
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