Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
this girl with a french braid down the center of her head won't stop talking about the benefits of the free market. i'm hungover, bloated and haven't slept for 4 days. shut up french braid girl, shut up.
so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
First and foremost she's my friend, but she's also a mistake I make when I'm drunk
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
How do I say "I still wanna hook up w you but I don't wanna see your penis via text ever again" through a snapchat
Any idea why the fuck i would replace all the music on my ipod with the fucking Goosebumps theme song?!?
Apparently drunk you is really nostalgic?
I immediately woke up from my nap, made myself a screwdriver and got in the shower. I know it's spring break but I'm still questioning my life choices.
Went on a blind date. Afterwards I ripped my pants off and said "it's game time". He was into it.
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
What's that? Is there a bottle of Jack calling me? I think so...
I'm like the total package- I don't want a relationship and I have daddy issues. What more could he want?
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