you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
If I saw Perez Hilton naked I think I would stick a lit candle down my throat.
the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
repeat this after me. period at the beach is better than baby at the beach. breathe. and: period at the beach is better than baby at the beach.
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
Bro, I just want to tell you that I'm glad you got fired. I'm going to fuck your replacement.
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
They can't keep moving my court date back, i dont know if I'll survive another one of these going away to jail parties.
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
drinking ice water after you brush your teeth, is like Antarctica blowing a load into your mouth.
Hit a new low. I'm FB stalking him while he is lying in bed sleeping naked next to me. He fell asleep with FB still open and unlocked on his iPad.
I find it fascinating that she'd be more comfortable with her mom finding out she submits dirty disney confessions on tumblr than about her secret email account she uses to chat with dutch and brazilian strangers.
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
Alone, in the dark, eating tacos and drinking vodka. Who's apartment is this?
Randomize
