i just google imaged poop.
Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
doctor said mango vodka does not count as my daily servings of fruit. damn.
Everything's fine I'm just stoned and my pillows are too soft.
He asked me to hum the Ghost Busters theme song as I was going down on him
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
It's not Christmas until you get a photo from an ex wearing a Santa hat and red boxers... And then you just respond with, "nope."
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
It's only 10am and I doubt my day could get much worse. During my 9am meeting I had to sit between my boss who I fucked for my promotion and the guy he walked in on me fucking on the copier
Fun fact: My predictive text now prompts "walrus" as the most likely word to follow "intoxicated"...
If not, I can murder my liver twice...it's like a cat, it has 9 lives
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
Randomize
