scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
What tipped you off? The sombrero?
I don't even have to turn the heat on in my car. Just fart the whole way home.
swears the blind dude on this train is faking. Every day he stumbles and falls into a different girl's lap and then has to grab her tits to steady himself.
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
New low reached: a cockroach has actually drowned itself in our dirty dishes. We are heathens. Cleaning dance party tonight. No excuses.
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
Ok: all ex-gfs except you from the last 5 years have or are about to have a baby...be on the lookout...
Finding an empty bathroom to shit on campus is like the quest for the fucking Holy Grail. Except with more stench and humiliation.
Yeah because the only thing stopping you from fucking Emma Watson is you not being a Gryffindor
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
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