Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
You were face down, at your computer, surrounded by beer bottles listening a bagpipes version of amazing grace.
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night
I've also decided that the true test of whether or not you should marry a girl is if she will willingly blow you while you eat Oreos.
Party Liz is going to have to have her wings clipped until someone gets me some baby reins to wear
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
I'm going to take a nap so I don't feel like a stripper sneezed in my mouth tomorrow morning at work.
I woke up to him peeing by our bedroom door. I yelled at him to go to the bathroom and he just kept peeing while he walked there. This is a new low.
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
the amount of times i have been intoxicated, barefoot, and in a robe at 3 am at the quick check by your house is impressive, especially since i live an hour away
You started sleep walking, went to my closet, tried to pee on my boots, and when I asked you what you were doing you said "I'm talking to these people about jobs"
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
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