just threw up while drinking by myself. This is all your fault. You here = a good night, You not here = alcoholism
She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
Hashbrowns don't come out your nose as easily as you would think
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
Are you responsible for the syringes and miniature cactus garden that has magically taken over my fridge?
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
no joke- she just sprinkled parmesan cheese into her champagne and slurred "I just need a little snack"
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
YOU RAISED A SWORD OVER YOUR HEAD AND SCREAMED AT HIM WHAT THE FUCK ELSE DID YOU THINK WOULD HAPPEN?!
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
She said my mask was creepy, took it off with her teeth, and proceeded to bite my neck. I love vampires.
If he wants a future he'd best figure out the calendar function on his phone. If he can invite you to his penis he can invite you to his google cal.
Randomize
