Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
What are you doing?
High. Watching Billy Mays infomercials...
That guy could sell me cancer.
yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
It's a combination of amazing uncoordination, bad luck, and sheer determination to cause destruction wherever I go.
Randomize
