I am puke
ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
He said my breasts were God's way of making up to him for all the shit he's had to endure in his life.
Dude, please wake him up, there are pills all over the floor and hes the only one who knows which ones to take simultaneously.
Stop giving guys blow jobs because you're no good and it's messing up my sex life. Word gets around & then they think it's me and don't believe me when I say I have a twin. Learn to stuck dick right.
That does it. We're drinking til we're pirates.
I have a kicked-out-of-multiple-bars level hangover today
Also I found and fixed my beer gun.
Nothing like coaching 5 year olds with a bunch of visible bruises from last night's drunk bondage sex.
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
This is exactly why you shouldn't bang your bartender. Although the awkward free shots are a plus.
Bourbon is too strong for my cat, he does not want to drink it
He stopped mid-fuck to explain his choice in pillows. HE WAS STILL IN ME!
Randomize