No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
After the sixth shot I started to slur my pauses.
I just encountered the most annoying guy on the planet. I wanted to slap his milkshake out of his fat-boy hands while he was talking to me at the same time as slurping his liquid fat.
I love milkshakes.
Not the point.
We thought you were crowd-surfing until we realized it was the bouncers throwing you out
But please don't judge me if i smell like mustard
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
Getting drunk and throwing things at people isnt the same with you not here. Remember when you dislocated my elbow and then popped it back in in one motion?
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
I'm permanently fucked. Every liquid I put into my mouth automatically tastes like fireball.
You mistakenly try to piss in a cactus bush ONE TIME and are forever dubbed cactus ass
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
I remember reading the word "lift" so I did. The alarn went off, and I thought to myself "what dumbass pulls the fucking fire alarm?" and then I realized it was me...
They tried to get you to drink water and all you kept shouting was, "NO MORE LIQUIDS OF *ANY* KIND."
Oh I had the weirdest dream in which I was an archeologist stealing a golden dildo from a snobby British person
Randomize
