with your own penis?
Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
I had new employee orientation at the YMCA today. I showed up with a hangover, a black eye, scratches down my arm, and a sore throat from puking gin and keystone.
she was definitely wearing a bumpit. i think it was the hollywood bumpit. i told her that i lived with my parents to get outta taking her home.
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
I've been drunk in my life. But I've never been "crying in 5 Guys at 1 in the afternoon" drunk
I asked her why she named her vibrator Lorenzo and said it was the name she started screaming her first time.
Boobs are out for the taking
It's funny to me the only time that you clean up is when your weed delivery man is on the way.
Friend as in 'I used to have sex with her' or friend as in 'I still want to have sex with her'?
My friend asked me if I got home okay and I replied "Glad teat. Goodnight." Usually I can translate drunk me, but I'm even lost on that one.
I'm at that point in my life where keeping an extra pair of underwear in my purse is normal.
Do the right thing and go fuck yourself off a cliff
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
Gave his drunk ass water, & he poured it on my shirt while saying "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!" When reminded of it today he replied with, "at least you came in first place"
Randomize
