I just wanna be some guy's midlife crisis
she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
its impossible for me to find something that fits my tits my muffin top and my ass all at the same time
you're close to getting here right? Because if you're still not here and I have to get dressed to answer the door for the pizza guy, i'm tipping him $100 on your credit card to spite you
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
I'm way to drunk for this play. I'm about to run up on stage and drop the main character
woke up this morning in the hall outside of my parents room with a sign taped to myself that said "im sorry"...
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
Literally had to stick my hands in my pants and hold my butt cheeks together while driving
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
im half tempted just to scoot up to him and whisper "I'm not wearing underwear" but idk if thats a heartfelt apology
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
Randomize
