do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
Lesson 1: you can't keep macking on a girl if you get handcuffed
I hate how you keep a running list of people who have seen me naked.
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
It's my diet secret . . . it's like slimfast but I call it cockfast instead.
Not sure why I sent you a picture of a black bear last night but it seemed like a good idea at the time.
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
You know you're hung over when the glare from the cream cheese on your bagel is just too bright...
how do you casually eat pancakes with someone after they send you an unsolicited dick pic?
you don't. it's the point of no return for pancake enjoyment.
In all the years we have had drunk sex, have we ever done it in a bed?
My Mormon mother just found a butt-plug in our AirBnB closet.
Randomize