I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
I just had a formal request to dress as a boyscout for my meeting with Legal on Friday. From Legal. Time to go home.
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
Note to self: do not ride giant beanbag chair down stairs.
Me and allie were just offered cocaine by a strange man in a women's bathroom. Why have I not lived in Austin my whole life?
What made this night legendary was getting pulled over for looking suspicious while wearing an iron man mask
I just got fingered in the Win-Co parking lot for pills. How's your meltdown going?
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
Remember when I got punched in the face on NYE last year? I don't
Who brings nunchucks to a funeral?
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
my hair smells like a mixture of fireworks and rotten eggs with a hint of shame. it's so strong it's keeping me awake.
I must be really high or they really did just bring me a banana split instead of a burger
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