its been so long since i'vebeen laid i've forgotten what a penis looks like. When a guy makes me hot i picture him finishing the job by whipping a multi-setting showerhead out of his pants.
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
you were almost asleep and mumbling "your penis is on my cheek"
You couldn't find any paper towel to clean up the wine you spilled, so you tried to use her cat.
ooh i remember now. Not very absorbent.
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
you kept introducing yourself to guys as "never going to happen"
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
I feel like I should go door-to-door apologizing to America.
Halfway through the night I was hiding in a trashcan. Then I "sobered" up and ran around the house throwing change because I wanted to make my last moments of 2013 charitable.
Do you know how hard it is to put a bandaid on a vagina?
Thank you for coming with me today. I find it appropriate that we celebrated my negative pregnancy test with slurpees and donuts.
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
Randomize
