You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
Just heard a guy on the phone saying " ya ill buy the eight ball " then came to my register to ask what asile the sugar substitute is on.
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
My sharpie cut off line was invaded last night. Where's my turtleneck?
It was like the devil him self busted his red hot satanic nuts all over my face and burned my eyes out of my innocent sockets.
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
All I want to do is get high and needlepoint. Fuck your judgement
I made everyone scream the national anthem with me after playing true American last night. I'm pretty much their leader now.
It's like sexual waterboarding. You gave me sex so good I'm comparing it to torture. Jesus.
Turns out I screen transfered my streaming trucker restroom porn vid to the downstairs neighbors'TV instead of my own, damn you chromecast
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
The irony of the fact that I'm going to be starting my period on Thanksgiving. Something to truly be thankful for.
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
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