if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude
After the 3rd time his brother walked in on us I asked "Does he ever knock?" his reply "This is his room"... Turns out he didn't even live there... I feel like a hoe.
my mom called me mid shot and i accidentally answered and kept calling her my own name. somehow i thought that would help the situation.
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
I just love that it's Veterans Day because I know in my heart that I have serviced some of their brethren in the dirtiest, hottest, most shameful ways possible.
The only things in my fridge are almond milk, Smirnoff Ice and chicken noodle soup. I'd say I've done mama proud.
If you saw or spoke to me yesterday can you message me. Trying to make a timeline of the day I was too drunk to remember
I'm too drunk to remember your name. I'm too drunk to recall where i'm currently at. And i'm too drunk to give a shit.
Shelly has the weirdest luck. Dude offered her a job riding a bucking bronco and it was not porn or stripping but an actual g-d cow.
Randomize
