Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
Someone is gonna learn how to start an IV in the morning
vodka bottle broke. scooping it out of the plastic tub with a shot glass into a sprite bottle using a ziplock bag as a funnel and straining the glass out with paper towels. good thursday night?
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
I feel like our lives always have been and always will be a never ending drunken rampage full of pregnancy scares and lost brain cells
Right now I'm standing in front of my fridge, drinking wine out of the bottle and eating cold steak with my hands. I am THE BEST at being single.
I love you, but it's "shark week" I'll make it up to you with naked breakfast.
They think its so cute and admirable that I learned French. BITCH HAVE YOU NEVER HEARD OF GOOGLE TRANSLATE? sexting foreign bitches, there's an app for that
Binging muscle relaxers because when ur 33 you can no longer SHAKE IT LIKE A POLAROID PICTURE for 2hrs w/o consequences. Fuck you, Age.
On today's episode of "What the Shit Did I Do Last Night," drunk me deleted ALL of the text messages I've ever had. Awesome.
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
i let a mormon finger me. i don't ever want to be that drunk again.
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
Randomize
