I just puked into a plastic bag at a red light. Go me.
I probably should have cut it off when he started putting queso on my nipples, but within ten minutes I was a self-serve burrito bar.
We will have to go big on the 4th! Nothing says independence like the impending doom of an ankle monitor
We started telling people we were married, and then we hooked up on a park bench
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
Just successfully went through airport security with shrooms. It's gonna be a fucking awesome new years
So far, my day has been sparkling with the tears of a thousand rainbow unicorns. I'd say this is quality shit you've grown.
He corrected my use of grammar... I think we both know that means i have to sleep with him
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
I like that we've become good enough friends again that I can make fun of your penis without it being awkward
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
Carson kissed me on my cold sore before I could stop him so I think I gave my kid herpes. Mom of the year. Just call me MOTY.
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
You invented a drink at the bar and named it Boner Soup. It was like an even trashier version of a long island iced tea
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
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