Yes because finding a guy to give head to is pretty difficult.
I mean not really
Obviously that's why it was a joke you are so stupid it's impossible.
You kept telling me how warm your bag of vomit was and asked me if i wanted to feel.
She makes walking on a treadmill look like a porno. I wish I could send over shots as an ice breaker.
That's effing brilliant. We should start a business.
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
Um, you were throwing up the shocker symbol in front of all of the wedding guests during the best man's speech. No wonder the groom thinks we're bad
My cell phone fell out of my shirt pocket while tying my shoe on an escalator....which was followed by me being accused of trying to sneak an upskirt photo and being violently shoved down the top of the escalator. How's YOUR day?
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
For the sake of being nice I congratulated her and she replied with something along the lines of that I need to stay away from him and not touch him ever. I really wanted to be like "been there, done that" but my New Years resolution was to not start any cat fight over boys with small dicks before noon
You know that feeling when you wake up and your whole body just smells like a penis?
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
I think I fucked someone on the flight home last night.
Hey, I left a taco in your dishwasher.
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
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