Grow some girl-balls and come out already
At a bar where three women in denim shorts are debating techniques and skillsets for wrangling goats. You stay classy Delaware.
he was chasing shots of soco with fistfuls of my birthday cake
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
you're being stingy. if you didnt want people to have sex on your couch, you shouldve specifically said so.
You convinced her to break up with her boyfriend, made out with her all night, got her to buy us all shots then went home with a different girl...
That explains the "i hate you" text. But the facebook deletion is a bit harsh
Just saw a cougar do the walk of shame. She asked housekeeping where the fastest elevator was.
What's the best way to say, "it's too early in our relationship to leave me at your place alone"? Steal something?
we were sitting on his couch watching tv and laughing at how funny the voices on the commercial were, then we realized the volume wasn't on.
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
Still butthurt there's a framed picture of me passed out on the toilet in my grandparents' living room
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
I was on antibiotics for a bladder infection and couldn't drink and you told me there was no longer room in your life for me.
Randomize
