dude I went to cubs game with my mustache, aviators, and a hooded sweatshirt. Do you think it was irony or fate that there were four 17 year old girls in front of us?
how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
Remind them to make the "above the influence" commercial about us fallin off a ferris wheel
we gave some random guy a shot for shoveling our sidewalk.
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
I can't tell if I have the Pizza Hut shits or beer shits
I'm only wearing socks and eating tuna, don't do this to me right now.
I'm potentially being cockblocked by Old Man Winter. What the fuck did I do to piss off an entire season?
What kind of terrible faithless God would allow vodka and one ply toilet paper to coexist?
Nothing says girls night like wine cheese and pregnancy tests 😂
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
Randomize
