the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
Drunk on an escalator. I fell like 15 flights of stairs without actually moving more than 5 feet.
She put baby oil on her toes and i am not legally allowed to talk about what happened
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
You wouldn't know anything about the tooth on ice in my freezer would you?
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
so, give him that "thank you for fighting for my freedom bj" & he wont even remember what you said in that six min voice mail.
If I get there and all he has for my big valentines surprise is his body, I'm dumping his ass and posting his dirty pictures on a porn site so people can laugh at him.
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
He told me to grab his penis so I did and swung it around and said “awe, it looks like the wacky inflatable tube man.
your mission the party friday: cockblock me at ALL costs. I've cheated on my boyfriend twice. I feel like three times would be crossing some sort of line...
and no, I don't care how how hot he is
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