It wouldn't matter if you are Jesus Christ himself, you are not getting into the bar tonight
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
I realize it truly is impossible to burrow under the grass like a mole. Let's not drink for at least another 3 days.
Some kid just popped open a giant PBR and walked into his final...
you said "how could you not want to hook up with me when I have these abs" and then proceeded to rip your shirt off in the middle of the bar. I'm pretty sure you were hammered.
JESUS
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
I totally just pulled my thong out of my purse at the grocery store. Oops.
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is
You were out of control then you fell asleep on his lap for 30 min and woke up civil. Way to powernap to sobriety!
Randomize