I'm wearing a childsize birthday hat and a bib. I am the def of sex appeal rite now
we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
Everything was going good until she wanted to update her status...You forgot to close pterodactyl porn from this morning. Clothes went back on.
I just woke up wearing retainers... they are most definitely not mine
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
Overdraft my account again. Parents are starting to ask questions. What would go over better a gambling or drug addiction??
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
I mean I feel like if you explain to the emoji app company that your friend got plastered and fell to the ground and is trying to scheme her way back to normal life and get her dignity back they would understand just how necessary it is to have a fingers crossed emoji...
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
I watch one musical on Netflix, and the "Suggested for you" section is literally almost the entire gay movie category. I feel profiled, and netflixs' accuracy about my sexuality is both impressive and offensive.
SOME BITCH AT THE HOSTEL STOLE MY NUT BUTTER THERE WILL BE BLOOD
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
Randomize
