you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
he kept a regular condom in his wallet just so he could comment on how it wouldnt fit before whipping out the magnums. i give him points for the build up
He just said he was the Jesus of alcoholics.
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
I am never going on a blind date ever again. He drank way too much and kept telling me I had a nice boob. Like.. Singular. What's the other one? The ugly twin?
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
He tried to take a picture of me naked but only got my ass. I don't know his name but if my butt is a guys wallpaper, that's the one I boned.
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
Currently rolling a blunt in the bathroom of Planned Parenthood
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
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