Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
he breathalyzed me before we had sex.
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
I got really upset about missing him last night when I was demonstrating penis sizes of the people I've slept with using a tape measurer to my roommates
I need to stop getting drunk and telling people it isn't "about them."
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
if anyone breaks out the olive oil & slip n slide, text me 911.
Randomize
