I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
Kanye's agent is the only person whose job sucks worse than mine.
im watching shaqs comedy special. this is how i know im not sober.
I just used celery as a chaser. That's the level of my refrigerator.
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
I will never in my life forget you letting the cat lick your tongue
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
I'm totally going to bang the cable guy tonight. I'm so pumped
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
long story short, he tried to fuck me standing up, toppled over, and now I have four stitches next to my eye
Randomize