My Blind Date Arrived. She looks like something I'd draw with my left hand.
nothing says happy birthday like half a tampon wrapped in someone else's hair on your shoulder.
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
I'm out of vodka and money. My semester is officially over. The way I see it, my finals are just forms I need to fill out in order to leave campus.
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
Everyone at work loved my story about sobering up in a river with no bra on.
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
Showing girls my stab wound was not the brilliant idea I thought it was.
Randomize
