she asked me if I wanted a handjob on the haunted mansion ride at Disney. was I suposed to say no?
he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
got arrested for "breaking and entering" last night when i supposedly went into the wrong house made a sandwich and tried jerking off to porn on the tv...the cops told me they came in while my dick was out...oh and i missed work this morning and got fired
It just hit me that i made out with someone's mom last night
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
Too lazy to get out of my bed thats 2 feet away from you. Are you sure youre alright?
You crawled through a doggy door 5 times for a shot if cheap vodka.
you stumbled up the stairs in your heels, pulled 23 one-dollar bills out of your bra and then went and puked in the toilet. didnt say a single thing to me the whole time
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
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