This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
Literally he has the smallest penis I've ever felt since 8th grade.
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
When I was with you my penis felt like a fat woman crammed into a pair of lulu lemons
There's a lady here with a big bag of dildos. I'm not sure that's appropriate bar baggage but, I like her style
gladiator or hannah montana?
This is why I never have to ask who you are when I get a new phone.
You know you're fucked up when you decide to pour fireball whiskey in your vegetable beef soup
You're too young to have this sort of Grizzled Old Drunk In Roadside Bar wisdom.
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
Thanks for DJing my sex last night. You were on point 💜
I'm writing to thank you for your never ending commitment to my orgasms and also to apologize if any physical harm was done due to your impressive efforts. Hopefully the sex and post sex pizza made up for it.
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
Randomize
