i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
You ordered 6 boxes of pizza and laughed in the pizza guys face when you didn't pay for any of them.
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
Just be happy that you're the pretty friend. Otherwise you would have had to walk home alone, like me.
I have a strict rule of what enters my vajay. It's either sparkly, or human. Anything else and I draw the line. Standards.
a pizza costume came into my possession last night. needless to say i showed up to his house wearing only the pizza, shouting "delivery" into his window.
Mind if I sleep with your cousin? If I can... thanks. If no, sorry its gonna happen.
I'm going to give you the best blowjob of your life. And yes you can use my mom's printer.
Typical Sunday morning text...are you alive?
Bear grylls would be proud of my improvisation. Just used her vibrator to massage my back after hurting it at work.
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
Randomize
