i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
I bought a zebra print bikini, I'm gonna be honest here- if he doesn't want to have sex with me in this, he's gay.
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
He just told me he's been drinking vodka at work all day. I'm starting to believe in soul mates.
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
It was an "I snuck in through the window at 5am with my underwear in my pocket" kind of night.
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
I spent a lot of time in their kitchen cause I was convinced that the living room was gonna fall... Sorry for not warning you about that.
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
Do you know how hard it is to give a bj in your dead grandmothers car
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
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