Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
He was eating me out on the dryer...and his mom walked in with her laundry basket...
He wasn't the only one with a full load.
good news. it is gonna rain tomorrow so now I don't have to pay to clean the puke off the side of your car.
I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
Out of all the things I've put my penis in, this seems the most unfortunate.
Upperdeckered the toilet. Took sombrero off, drawing too much heat. Witnessed glassing. In bush, come findme.
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
We've reached the point in our fuck buddy relationship where we are playing words with friends. This is too intimate.
I feel like the only way to get him to stop is by telling him i'm tired from fucking our other friend every night this week
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
I threw up in bed last night and tried cleaning it with oldspice and baby powder
I'm going to start using the hurricane naming system for my hangovers. Hangover Agatha is a real bitch today.
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
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