There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
The bridesmaids just went smackdown on the floor, over the bouquet. I saw nipple. Best wedding ever
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
last nights episode of shot friends brought to you by polish vodka and flamingo baseball. pickles cure hangovers.
he was spitting whole peanuts projectile out of his mouth at the waitresses as they walked by and then yelled across the restaurant that he had "no problem kicking any of their asses"
Did you know there's no emoticon to really tell you that I just consumed a magic brownie?
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
... Cuz there's nothing like having your two male roommates catching you have a good cry in the driveway at 9am on a Wednesday.
I wish you could see all the crumbs in my bra....it looks like Hansel & Gretel got lost in my cleavage.
No one wanted to hang out so vodka and I are hanging out
It took me an hour to walk from my drive way to my front door... what the fuck was in that weed?
Randomize
