My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.
im at a bar with my dad last night and he got hit on more that I did
What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
Too many sundays start with me waking up still drunk in my car.
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
This is the Santa Claus of hangovers. It just keeps giving.
I need an IV, a new head, and stronger morals.
The exact people you expect to find at a bar at 2pm are here. Come visit. We'd really like the company.
I am at 99 matches in less than 24 hours, I need a tinder rehab program
I took my makeup off with mouthwash. Seemed like a good idea. It worked.
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
Randomize
